Dancing with Daddy 2010

Last month a day before my husband was going in for major surgery, I had this dream.

I am putting the key points in quotes so when I later discuss the analysis of the dream, you will “get” what I mean to say.

I dreamed I was standing at a fax machine wanting to send “a message”. The scene took place around the “reception” area of the Dalfen’s building that was my late father’s office.

Even though a few people were blocking my view, I realized my Dad was standing there! I went up and said “Hi Daddy” so happy to see him. He put his arms up to me to dance and we danced together!! Just the same as he used to with my Mom. Totally in step!! And not for a second either. I actually had a whole dance with him. There were no words. There didn’t need to be. I was with my Dad that night. I know he is with us.

The analysis: So often I am asked by dreamers, many of whom call in to radio shows, “Did I really get a visit?” Here’s what I respond and this dream of my own is a perfect example. I like to look at the dreams first, from a psychological perspective before looking at other phenomenon that may be going on simultaneously. I am a first-things-first kind of girl. From a psychological perspective, I had what Sigmund Freud might have called a “wish dream.”

I was rightly feeling very anxious about my husband’s surgery. When my dad was alive, if I was anxious, he was a great person to go to and more often than not I felt protected and safe with him. So it makes perfect sense that in my hour of need I was unconsciously wishing he was here. What a wonderful space dreams are that they provide a place for us to see and feel like we are spending time with our departed loved ones!

When attempting to decode what specific current issue a dream is addressing, one of my favorite points of entry to use is play on words and puns. In this dream, that’s why I am trying to “send a message”, and that I am at the “reception” area when I see my father.

And the dream serves its purpose well, doesn’t it? I felt so happy, relieved, and comforted having spent this time with my father. And I felt more ready to face my husband’s surgery for having been with him.

Many times, when I dream about my father his image represents the male aspect of my personality. Like he might appear in my dream during a week when I have to travel away from the family and need to move closer to that business side of myself as opposed to my female, motherly side.

It’s very “Layne-like” to be searching the psychology of it all when I have a dream, even one that is calling my attention to my spiritual side.

It couldn’t quite work in this particular circumstance because of what happened next. My mom passed away in September 2003. I have one of her now 70-something year-old mahjong sets that she gave me, hoping one day I would pick it up.

In fact, one of the tiles had been missing for near a year at the time.

That same morning of my dream, and of Andy’s surgery, as we got into the car, I looked down at the floor of the passenger seat, and noticed the missing mahjong tile, sitting there, right under my seat! How unlikely and miraculous is that?

For all the psychological analysis of my Dancing With Daddy dream, it was as if my Mom stepped in to illustrate beyond a shadow of doubt, how both my parents were with me that morning back in 2010.

With a few other times, this one included, you will never convince me that it wasn’t actually my dad, right there in my dream, dancing with me. And even Mom stepped in to be sure I got the messages that both of them were present.

We humans are very complex and sophisticated. Surely our unconscious mind is capable of so much more than we imagine both psychologically and spiritually.

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